I’ve learned how to block my tears and suppress my emotions. If I didn’t, then my words would be like my tears. Everywhere.  Earlier in the week the premiere of The Fast and the Furious drove its way to the silver screen where fans and actors contributed their hearts to the final scenes of Paul walkers everlasting moments in the film.

He was a beautiful man inside and out which has left many grief stricken by his sudden and horrific death. Even after a year, I still question the credibility of news sources such as TMZ who televised  the flames that slowly took his life. I found it to be vulgar and immorally distasteful leaving the last visions of a man we all dearly loved.

My first Paul Walker man crush started in my junior high years of school when I saw him as the gorgeous blonde hair blue eyed hunk with the surfer accent. PleasantVille, Varsity Blues, She’s all that and The Skulls were some of the few favorite films that I crushed on as a preteen.

Utter perfection. So when I found out about his passing just like that of the late Robin Williams,  I became numb and lost in a sense of depression.

People can have that type of impact on you and though it may be personal or from a far, it’s all in how they made you feel.

I’m not one to spend my time going to the movies, but the opening just felt right. The Pacific Theater at The Grove had an early showing  on Friday the 3rd and I wanted to make sure Lauren and I got our tickets before being sold out.

Good thing we got them hours early because tickets were selling fast by the lack of seat options. After having an early dinner next door at the Cheesecake Factory we went inside to grab our seats. Three other showings were playing back to back while fans and movie goers waited for the doors to open. Our showing was pact and we were nearly the last to find our seats.

I’ve never had the desire to watch all of the Fast and Furious franchise. The first one was enough, as I had the basic break down of it all. Okay… I watched a couple, but I wasn’t obsessed. During the film Lauren had to catch me up on the story lines and plots so I could understand what was going on. I was mainly watching and waiting to see if they were going to edit scenes in replacement  of his character, but to our amazement he finished the film. Whew.

As weird as it may seem, that would of been heart wrenching to see his last few moments on set and not to have been able to fully play out his character. During the end of the film is where there was sheer silence amongst the movie goers as people watched the tribute that was in his honor of all the franchise  films he worked on.

I wont ruin it for those who have yet to see the film.

I’ll never come to understand why he was taken away so young and so soon from those who loved and adored him. Such a beautiful soul he had and willingly shared with those around him and his loved ones, but what I will say is that he will always have a forever place in our hearts and will always be remembered as our blue eyed angel.

Xox