Whew! This past week has been a long run of anxiety, lack of sleep, carpal tunnel and fabulosity, but yet, it was all so worth it.

I can not explain the intensity of feeling like I’m getting to a point in my chaotic life and closer to saying that I’ve made it. All the anger, resentment and bitter feelings of falling off the radar and having to climb back up again from a slippery dangling rope that was left to be forgotten. That rope that I have had to climb and build the stregnth in pulling myself up with the body weight of not just only myself, but from others. That body weight built from negativity, mockery, exclusion, doubts, isolation, worthlessness and reflection; yet here I am even stronger to make myself pull even harder.

I received a very surprising email confirming my whole being as a social blogger stating I was accepted into the exclusive Vanity Fair Social Club Those words I say like bubble gum. I could barely maintain my sense of thrill being that my stress was sitting right on top of my nerves from that overwhelming feeling of, really?! Did this just really happen. The one social group that is meant for some of the most pen and pad worthy bloggers and social media influncers and I was accepted. I was wanted.

Like I just missed the trial “Every last man for themselves.”

I appreciate the smaller things in life. The smell of the open ocean and sea salt sitting on my face. The feeling of the sun with a light breeze matching my body temperature. A scent that brings back childhood memories. Things that I live for; but this was on a whole personal  level that I knew was my right timing when I was feeling left behind by so many because the weights were continously pulling me down and adding strain to my body. It might not seem like a big deal to many, but remember it’s the little things that I appreciate. I’m not made up of greed and selfishness, those traits don’t make up the integrity of my character.

I received a phone call from my friend  Lauren with The Leaux Project who has been with me through this short journey of blogging, but the long tedious road of Socializing. So to know that we were gradually getting to a point in our lives that we needed to retract and think to ourselves, it’s either all or nothing at all, we dedicated our full attention to this week long fiesta; all because our guardian angle Carmen Wanted+Desired cracked the door open for us.

I was impatiently sitting at the edge of my seat just waiting for the daily updates and news gearing up for the overall daily scheduled calendar that Carmen prepared me for. By this point, I had taken off the entire week from work without any hesitation or guilt of missing out on money. That wasn’t a priority for me because I don’t plan on dying there. I planned on living the Vanity Fair life of open opportunities and clearsighted dreams. That’s all that mattered to me and I wasn’t going to allow the manipulation of a demon resting easily on my shoulder detouring me away from my goal focus.

I’ve always been an actor without a resume to prove my passion for acting.

Acting has its come ups but the come downs are what can mentally test you especially when you’re surrounded on the other side of that mirror. Smoking mirrors. As a socialite fourteen years ago, when you’re thrown into a world that you’re not fully prepared for, it can be quite a culture shock especially when you don’t have anyone to protect you. I saw through the smoke because I knew those who were blowing the smoke.

So when I decided to blog, I just dove right in, in order to make up for the time I had lost and wasted.

I’m a social blogger. Not a social media blogger. A socialite whose socializing while discreetly blogging. I like to base my views and writings from a more personable approach that is very reflective of me. As an individual and not as a blip in this world we refer to as “New” with such redundancy. I like expressing that fads and trends are not the be all of end all. That you can stray away from a herd. I’m fortunate to appreciate the time when all this never mattered because I still felt alive, I was alive. I held normal conversations without a number to dictate my self-worth to feeling inclined by moronic judgement of my worth ethics and whole being. I knew that my insecurities and self image weren’t aggressively being challenged with images of others that took hours just for one measly  selfie. I knew that my ambition was genuinely admired for just having ambition.

I’m thankful for this opportunity that Vanity has given me and hopefully this platform will fully allow me the voice I aspire to have and the ambition that fulfills me.

Thank you
Xox

#MyTimeToShine